Well, it's a week of a lot of firsts. Or seconds, unfortunately. God. Anyway, second installment, let's freakin' get it. I renamed the series! So to the one person who viewed my post last week before I changed it, please forget. This week has been super cold and I have been warming my cheeks almost daily with the salt of my tears. Innovative! Depressing but hopeful week, somehow, despite it all.
I've also decided to add movies/shows to this roundup because there are some good ones out right now and I love to share things I think are interesting. Clearly.
It is like wildly horrifically cold this week. It feels like punishment. So instead of being upset about it I have decided to get dressed anyway! What else is new. But man it has been hard these past few weeks. These images side by side also made me realize that I need to somehow figure out how to standardize my video ratios so that I am... the same size in every picture. Whoops. A problem for week three.
Monday - 1179
A decidedly terrible day. All around. And I got terrible period cramps. Which is really a cherry-on-top. Hence, no shoes.
Deets:
Top: secondhand Adrienne Vittadini
Shorts: Nom Originals
Tuesday - 1180
Today was terrible. Again!
Deets:
cardigan: Costco, many years ago now
turtleneck: Old Navy
earrings: Buffalo Exchange
pants: Target; these are so old that they’re a size 2 (I am not a size 2 and haven’t been in years)
shoes: JustFab
Wednesday - 1181
I am depressed. And I have had a migraine for two days.
Deets:
crewneck: run club merch (s/o UWSR)
jeans: Target, they were my mama's so secondhand.
bag: Coach outlet! I got my mom the same one in red/orange
boots: justfab
Thursday - 1182
perhaps the worst day of the week? I can't quite tell, it's hard to gauge what's worse: feeling everything or feeling nothing at all. Today was nothing, something, then nothing again.
Deets:
crewneck: merch from werk
tee: Lonely Ghost
pants: target; they are too big and I'm not sure why I still own them!
sneakers: justfab
Friday - 1183
Worked from home, helped set up an event for work! Yay! Being around people helped a little. And I watched my best friend graduate :')
Deets:
sweater: old Target
buttondown: my opa’s
earrings: Buffalo Exchange
jeans: Madewell via Nordstrom Rack
boots: justfab
Saturday - 1184
I ran 7 miles, which I have never done on purpose before (long story). My ankle hurt a lot! Outfit is courtsey of Anto's birthday which was y2k themed. Notoriously this is the era my closet does not have much of; I ended up going the comfy route because my legs hurt so much (yay running!).
Deets:
tee: Renee Rapp merch
jeans: secondhand Nine West - they were my mama's
shoes: Filas from TjMaxx
earrings: Buffalo Exchange
Sunday - 1185
I volunteered at a NYRR Half-Marathon today :) it was a great experience. I was very cold but made some friends and picked up my bib for my race on Sunday. I also got a new notebook and had some pancakes which was nice.
Deets:
cardigan: Aelfric Eden
turtleneck: Old Navy
jeans: Target
boots: old NastyGal
Updates
It feels like nothing is good right now, but I know that isn't true. I made cookies on Tuesday and that is good, I snuggled with my cat and that's good, I laughed with my friends at lunch, and that's good too.
This week begun the first week of my spring semester, which is exciting and also stressful because I looked at the syllabus and felt overwhelmed. But I think it'll be a welcome distraction and god knows I need all the distracting I can get right now. It's my 7th class in my program out of 10, so we are closingggg in. Graduation 2026?
I am genuinely pissed off because I was going to start reading One Day, which I have been meaning to read for over a year, and then I left the book at my parent's house. Which is a bit dire and dramatically because it is like desperately what I need to be reading this week.

Lessons in Chemistry
by Bonnie Garmus
I actually already know what happens because I watched the show with my mom last year, I want to say in February, not that that part really matters. I cried a billion times then too and have wanted to read the book ever since. It's very good so far.
I am making tremendous progress in my tiny blue notebook (I have been writing a million poems a day to cope!) so I bought a new tiny blue notebook from Paper Source on Tuesday. It was $20 which was shocking, and the cashier did not ask me if I have a Paper Source membership, which! I do.
hotel
I want to stay in a hotel
lay in the center of a king sized bed
clean white sheets
and none of my clutter
shiny bathtub, anonymity
someone who will call to wake me
warm food delivered to my door
somewhere where I can lay and be less
Music
Music is one of my favorite things ever and one of my favorite ways to consume feelings and envelope myself in different moods and states. Unfortunately this week, every single thing I listen to has just hurt. So sometimes I've been leaning into that, but other times I've just been choosing easier things that hurt less but still fill the space in my mind where thoughts would otherwise be. Let's groove.
The Beatles: In My Life
I always loved these freakin guys. I almost got "Bright are the stars that shine, dark is the sky" tattooed onto my body when I was 18, but I didn't; it's kind of long anyway.
Phoebe Bridgers: Waiting Room
Know it's for the better (36 times, firmer each time)
Stevie Nicks: Edge of Seventeen
In a web that is my own, I begin again!
The Mamas & The Papas: Dream a Little Dream of Me
sweet dreams 'til sunbeams find you, forreal. sigh. (one of my favorite songs of all time)
Djo: Basic Being Basic
My boy Djo has RETURNED! Album comes out in April. All is well in the world (it's not) (but it helps).
Ins/Outs
In this week is balance. Seeing people you love and going out and doing things, and doing things at the same time to take things slow and heal.
Out is rushing anything. Anything!
Watches
I've been watching a lot of movies this week again!
Severance
I didn't finish season 1 and then I saw the box in Grand Central and speedily ran to finish it (because season 2!). The season 1 finale is wild and I'm very glad I got there.
A Real Pain
I really liked this movie. My favorite quote, even though I think it is unrelatable to me: "I know that my pain is unexceptional so I don't feel the need to burden everyone with it." I am clearly incapable of not talking about everything that goes on in my brain, but I do think my pain is radically unexceptional, and find comfort in that.
Mr. Crocket
I liked this because it actually kind of freaked me out. Unless it's a jump scare, I am not very phased by horror, so I liked this concept. Something about watching tv horror... on a tv.... yeah.
The Sex Lives of College Girls
I will probably not be putting this every week as a new ep comes out. But. Yay bisexuals!
SNL
I used to watch SNL in 2019 when I was really depressed. I thought it would make me feel weird/sad but so much has changed since then; it's somehow still comforting. Also I for some reason really wanted to see Timmy sing AND host. I don't even like him like that but mans is funny.
Snacks
I have been slowly eating an entire pack of family size mini m&ms this week. It's going really well, thanks for asking. I didn't even know they MADE mini m&ms in anything but tubes, so this was really exciting for me. The Sunday update is we did it (I ate them all).
I also got emergency Shanghai Rice from Joe's Home of Soup Dumplings on Friday. Emergency because it's been A Week. But on the bright side, once I ate the rice, I felt much better. And it fed me for three days as all good food/leftovers should.
Fixation
I'm semi-attempting to heavily focus on submitting my poetry book to publishers. But I'm also focused on... this blog. A lot. Because I've realized how incredibly temporary social media all ... is. Which is a scary thought but something I've considered for a long time, even as someone who really be usin' social media.
I'm also trying very hard to take care of myself, like in the most basic sense of the word. Caring for myself like a sick child, like someone I love. Taking very hot showers and eating food and wearing comfortable clothes and taking it slow and letting myself feel (in!). It's the least I can do for myself, and somehow also the most. The weekend was already better so I'm sure this week will be easier, even just a little.
Picture of my Cat
As promised:

Thanks for reading, see you next week :)
♡♡♡
Mel
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