HAPPY NYFW! I am so excited and so stressed and ohmygod. There is so much going on and I am tired and giddy just thinking about it.
There is simultaneously so much to be excited about and grateful for, and at the same time so much that feels very hopeless. My gym is CLOSING. Like, are we joking? They can't just let us have this ONE thing?
Anyway - I have been struggling a lot this week (still) but trying to find a balance between pushing myself and staring at my ceiling until 3am.
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Also - it's officially (!) one month of luv letters! And I think that's pretty luvley (ha). I'm glad I've continued showing up for this even if there are like five people who read it. I hope you do. But I wouldn't know, I guess. If I put five people in my living room and they were all reading this, it would feel overwhelming and joyful in a way that a tiny number on my laptop could never reflect, so I like to try to think about it that way. Anyway, onward to the goods, including perhaps my favorite outfit of ALL TIME.
Aside from the very specific outfits I've had planned (NYFW, DWAA Banquet) I really was just trying my best every day to get dressed. And it helps, as it has been proven to do. Every day I've been feeling depressed to varying degrees, a feeling I did not miss. But there are so many things that help/do give me hope, so I hope you're finding those throughout your days as well.
Monday - 1193
Re: my race on Sunday, I definitely was still dehydrated and unwell today but we made it through. Submitted my first workshop piece for class! And cooked dinner again for the first time in weeeeks.
Deets:
cardigan: H&M
pants: v old, brand called Shekou
boots: so v old NastyGal
bodysuit: I got a pack on tiktok for free and idk why
Tuesday - 1194
L'office day. I felt very like 2023 Melanie in this because it was kind of giving grandmother. I love this jacket, which is secondhand Tommy Hilfiger. She's a cool one.
Deets:
jacket: secondhand Tommy Hilfiger
skirt: tt shop admittedly
boots: old Target
necklace: vintage Zandra and Chloe
Wednesday - 1195
I don't even remember what Wednesday was like, really. I worked from home, lead inspectors came (they played with my cat, who is obviously a delight to all who meet her). I read my book and watched tv but did not go to run club.
Deets:
hoops: Buffalo Exchange
necklace: VibeSzn custom
sweater: old Target
jeans: secondhand from mama, also target
birks: Birkenstocks, my Hausschuche dw dw these do not touch the outdoor world
bag: I made it :D
Thursday - 1196
Office day, it snowed a lot in the early am so I was like, gotta Boots it up today. Was not feeling particularly motivated once again and was cold so this is her, she's alright. Did the job. I went to the gym for the probably second-to-last time and it was really upsetting for a Sensitive Sentimental Girl (SSG) like myself. I showered and fell asleep on my couch until morning.
Deets:
turtleneck: TJMaxx
earrings: Buffalo Exchange
skirt: thrifted Goodwill
boots: old Target
Friday - 1197
Pajama work from home by day, ethereal gold and white NYFW event by night. I felt magical, I felt beautiful, I love everything about this. The pearl piece is backwards; the one other time I've worn this (Gov Ball, 2021), I also wore it backwards, and it's just a cool vibe. Probably forwards too, but I like how it kind of gives cape when worn backwards. I am thrilled with this outfit and will be posting about it for the rest of my life.
Deets:
dress: thrifted via Depop 2021ish
earrings: Buffalo Exchange
pearl piece: also depop, ~2021
bag: thrifted (back in college) from MyUnique Thrift
shoes: justfab
Saturday - 1198
Did you know there is an organization called the Dog Writers Association of America? You probably don't because you probably aren't a dog journalist like I am (if you are, more power to you, and sorry for assuming). Well they had their banquet this day! This is what I wore - the dog scarf was PHENOMM.
Deets:
jumpsuit: Kohls
scarf: I’ll check tag 😙😙🐶🐶
shoes: Sam Edelman
Sunday - 1199
I slept till like 1pm the way that only depressed Melanie can (I know her well!), but getting dressed really helped me feel instantly better. I did laundry, published 2 articles for work, did my homework, and made brownies. That's pretty good for an afternoon!
Deets:
jacket: @260samplesale @yellowthelabel
jeans: thrifted @sam_edelman @platoscloset
birks: dupes from @amazonfashion p old now
scarf: gift 💘 @urbanoutfitters
Sunday - 1200 (!!!!)
I wore two outfits on Sunday which MEANS we hit 1200 outfits! That's wild. I can't believe it's already been 200 since we hit 1000. I have never been more consistent about anything in my life, I can tell you that much. OH so, context: Bella and Maddie threw a lovely Galentines party (the real super bowl tbh) and the theme was pjs/pink. So cutie pie so girlie, it was a lovely time :)
Deets:
pj set: TJMaxx
earrings: Buffalo Exchange
necklace: Urban Outfitters
Updates
Yes so they're closing our gym, that's major in my routine-driven life and an immense cause of general emotional upheaval in my life as if waking up every day and facing the world hasn't already been bad enough.
This is my ... fourth NYFW? I don't remember. But it's wild to me that I somehow end up in these places (truly by pure luck) and continue to get to go. I am, despite the way I've been feeling, the luckiest girl in the world.
Two of my articles were also nominated for awards at the Dog Writers Association of America (bet you didn't know that was a thing) on Saturday. Did I win? No. But in the same way that people can say they are a Grammy nominated artist, I can say I am a two-time DWAA nominated writer. And that's basically the same thing.
I'm 6 books into 2025 so far and I feel like that's pretty good. I'll bet when I'm home next week I'll finish one or two.
The Haunting of Hill House
by Shirley Jackson
One of my favorite shows ever is The Haunting of Bly Manor (which I recently learned is loosely based on The Turn of the Screw by Henry James), so obviously I also loved The Haunting of Hill House, so naturally I picked up the book when I saw it at the store. It's also helpful because the class I'm currently taking focuses on speculative fiction, which horror falls under.
I'm gonna be so so real my little poem book is in the other room and the way me cat is laying on my blanket (see below Obligatory Biene Pic) I simply can't get up. So this is not from this week, but still recent.
me in, in me
I wonder what you see me in
if you look for me.
do you see me in the places we've been,
in the spaces I took up
do you see me in the blue hues of the world,
like you used to?
I wish I could pry your mind open, fingers greedy
just so I could see what you associate with me
if anything at all
Music
This week has been super weird in terms of music-listening. I've been listening to a lot of disco again, but haven't felt like listening to anything aside from yearning love songs. Which has not been great for my brain.
Mitski: Francis Forever
Case and POINT. This should be all five songs this week because I have been listening to it nonstop. I look up at the gaps of sunlight..... !
Sufjan Stevens: Futile Devices (Doveman Remix)
sigh
Jeff Buckley: Lover, You Should've Come Over
lol !
Her's: What Once Was
sigh pt 2. Also? Her's stopped being active in 2019 and no one told me. I'm upset.
Cass Elliot: That Song
If you couldn't already tell, we are yearning this week.
Ins/Outs
In this week is sparkly eye makeup, especially putting another color of said sparkly eye makeup into the corners of your eyes.
Out is being mean! What the heck. We are not doing that at our big age, alright? So quit it. Be nice to people. Act out of kindness, strive for goodness. I know it's not always easy but try your darndest. Also out is letting your insecurities bleed into your life, I have been guilty of that this week and I do not like it.
Watches
I forgot to do this last week! Well I haven't really watched anything except the below; I go through phases.
SNL
I feel like I also watched this last week but I have been watching SNL pretty much every night. This is a thing I started doing in 2019 when I was incredibly depressed and I would just watch it until I fell asleep. Now, I'm also depressed, but I just watch it to laugh and usually whilst also doing other things (like writing this blog post).
Companion
This was also last week. Puzzling! SO GOOD. Genuinely incredible film. The less you know about it going in, the more enjoyable it'll be, in my opinion.
Snacks
Seasonal depression is OUT, brownie batter donuts are IN! I have been eating way too many of these because every single year I forget that they will be coming, and then I usually find myself so seasonally depressed anyway that it's the only thing that keeps me going. The only problem is they're in high demand, so I have to get up and go to Dunkin semi-early if I hope to snag one. And maybe that's the trick anyway, forcing me to get up and all. Hm.
Fixation
Like I said I've been listening to Francis Forever on loop, but I've also been taking naps after work (or work+gym) nearly every day this week. Not a good "fixation," it's actually just depression.
Picture of my Cat
As promised!
Thanks for reading, see you next week :)
♡♡♡
Mel
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